99 red ballons go by

So, on Wednesday, I came home from work, put on sweats and plopped myself on the couch. I needed a night off from working, from writing, from lifting, from thinking, from wedding planning.

It was wonderful. Tim and I drank pumpkin beer and watched old episodes of Its Always Sunny and just relaxed.

Yesterday, I was a little slow to get up, but I still had a nice run, and a good day at work (I am very much enjoying my job!) and then came home and did some freelance work. I just get so inspired by some of the athletes I am privileged to interview. Some days, I come home and can’t handle any more writing, but last night, I just wanted to write. I couldn’t stop typing and editing and moving things around and just smiling. I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to be the voice for so many local runners. I am so grateful.

So, its Friday, and I am wearing jeans to work. And will be every Friday, HOLLA. Today, I slept in until 5:30 (GLORIOUS!) and went to a really fun spinning class. I feel so much more awake now.

Tim and I are heading home this weekend for a 5K in memory of one of my favorite people. So many silly songs remind of P. “99 Red Balloons.” “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” “Hey Girl.” “Scotty Doesn’t Know.”

Last night, I listened to some and felt sad, but also couldn’t help smiling. I miss you, oh how I miss you. I know you’d be saying right now “KELLY (LAST NAME)… YOU CAN’T REALLY BE GETTING MARRIED.”

 

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Yep, P, I am. I wish you were here. You wouldn’t be on the B list.

Anyway, this weekend, we run for him. On the worst course ever. But I won’t stop smiling. I miss him so much. I wish I could hug him one more time and say, “Hey Park. See you in a few weeks. Scotty doesn’t know.”

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Hey Park, see you on the other side.

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So come dance this silence down through the morning

It depresses me that I used to see this during my last few morning miles:

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And now, it still looks like this when I finish:

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Other than that, I’m really happy right now. Not to jinx it, but just so many good things going on, so many people to be grateful for. Someone sent me a really nice email yesterday about my freelance work and it honestly made my day.  Days are long, but filled with so many good things. (OK, who can tell I had the first good run in a long time this morning? Always changes my perspective on things. No matter how badly I didn’t want to get out of bed today, I am so glad I did.)

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Scotty doesn’t know

“Hey, when we set the date, I will be SO relaxed.”

JK.

Now, the stress is all about a) cutting the guest list b) the caterer. The guest list is at more than 200 people, which is both ridiculous and insane. And also, totally out of budget. We’ve been cutting left and right. I am sad about some of the people I’ve had to cut, and I feel bad, but it has to be done. I also have way more friends on there than Tim does, and I feel incredibly selfish. It’s hard to cut people who were once really important to you and/or whom you really like, but we just can’t. We both have huge families, which is awesome, but its just a lot of people.
As for the caterer, we have three meetings next week. I wish we could just do everything from the comfort of my couch or bed. And honestly, I am NOT a foodie by any means, so I don’t really care. Just as long as its good and people don’t talk about how awful it is for months after.
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Sorry, I don’t mean to whine. I am just feeling a little burned out, admittedly, not just from wedding stuff but from running and my endless cycle to find balance between fun and losing weight.
Oh! Speaking of losing weight…photographers…. we keep talking about how terrible our engagement pictures will be because we are both SO awkward. Fortunately, we have had several photographers highly recommended to us, so hopefully they can, uh, work some magic.
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Seriously, after the caterer and photographer are booked, I will be soooooo relaxed.

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Did you cash in all your dreams?

I survived my first week of work! And they even took me to lunch to “welcome” me. Hey, thanks. After work on Friday, Tim and I went to go see Gone Girl. I really liked it, and Tim said he did as well, but I did think it was a tad too long. Movies that are 90 minutes are my jam. Movies that are two hours make me cringe. Movies that are more than two hours are usually no-gos, but I made an exception this one time since I read the book. I stayed awake the whole movie and only peed three times, so I left feeling real smug. We didn’t get home until 9, so we just had a few pumpkin beers and went to bed. On Saturday, I made some major rookie mistakes (or as my journalism professor would say, “fatal errors.”) First, I knew I should probably run a 20-miler. I did one 19-miler and about 157 18-milers and a bunch of 16 and 15 milers, but something about that the 20-miler… I felt like I needed to do it. So, off I went. Not feeling too confident. Sorry, but 20 miles is fucking far. Then, I accidentally spent the first four miles of my run trying to dodge literally thousands of people who were participating in a breast cancer walk. This was exhausting, and I wasted SO much energy weaving in and out of people and saying “On your left.”  I ran about seven miles and just needed a mental break. I felt very defeated. So, I went home and Tim was about to leave for the market, so I decided to join him. It was really nice to just walk over and wander around and be a normal couple. Sometimes I forget I am crazy, and most normal people spend their mornings doing normal things and not running double-digits. I am really selfish in that regard, and I love running with all my heart, but it did make me sad about how many things I may miss out on. ANYWAY. I got stung by a bee there. What the heck? I haven’t gotten stung by a bee in about two decades… IMG_2557 Hard to see, bu there it is. I whined a bit because it did really hurt, but its fine now. I finally decided to continue my run. At this point, all I had eaten all day was a granola bar (“CHEWY,” as my college roommate, Alex, would say) and a banana. Our genius narrator struggled to figure out why she felt like garbage. For her next trick, she opted to run 6.5 miles away from home and then turn around and run back, so she was not tempted to quit early. LOL. I thought I was going to just fall over at points. I saw a dead deer and screamed SO loud. I felt so tired and weak and hungry. I am such an a-hole. I had nothing on me, and I am way too stubborn to call Tim to pick me up. I pretty much crawled home, ate lunch and spent the rest of the day being totally useless because I had completely depleted everything in my body. I am so smart. For some reason, Tim is a saint, and he basically brought me snacks all day. At one point, I was just eating almond butter from the jar. After eating all the snacks, I started to feel like a human being. Luckily, this was right around the time Sean and Andrew arrived. We drove over to a pizza/beer place and had dinner and a few drinks. We picked up some more pizza for later (clutch) and some six-packs, and went home to watch the game. unnamed I made it to the middle of the third quarter before I Irish exited upstairs to my bedroom. I am glad I missed the end of that game. I don’t think anyone was too happy. On Sunday, I set out for a few easy miles. It was freezing with 15-25 mph winds. I contemplated quitting so many times. My face was numb and running felt so hard. Even when I reached my turnaround, I expected sweet relief. Nope. Still windy. I never understand that. I had planned to go to Tim’s flag football game at noon, but I was just so cold. It took me hours to feel thawed. Not the best weekend of running. I am not feeling too great about this race. If things don’t get better, I am fine with a DNS. I don’t need two terrible marathons this year. One was plenty. We’ll see.

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that’s all she wrote

I know I am in the honeymoon phase, but I am SO SO SO SO happy at my new job. JINX. DOUBLE JINX. I went to a conference yesterday and it was so interesting and I really enjoyed it. And I got paid for it! #nutsstuff

Tonight, Tim and I are finally going to see Gone Girl. I am so excited. I read the book forever ago, and have been dying to see the movie. We’ve just been too busy on weekends and I didn’t want to go during the week because its 2.5 hours long. Hi, no. I will be impressed if I stay awake tonight. Fingers crossed!

Tomorrow, I plan to go for a run and I hope my body works and my stomach cooperates (its been so bad lately… it was well-behaved for so long and now its, like, terrible). After that, I have to run some errands, and then my college friends Sean and Andrew are coming. I AM SO EXCITED. I haven’t seen Andrew in more than a year and he will be deployed all next year (he is in the Coast Guard). I can’t wait to see them. Since Seanie and Tim are such big ND fans, we will be watching the game. I won’t even pretend that I will be able to stay up to go out after. Maybe I can give them my keys.
Sunday will hopefully consist of another run. Then, we are CLEANING THE HOUSE. It is a pigsty. And we have our party in two weeks (UM SO EXCITED. I hope i don’t end up in the hospital again. thanks!). Thats about it.

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and we’ll never be lonely anymore.

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We set a date! August 29, 2015.

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I seen the sun comin’ up at the funeral at dawn

Okay, day two survived. Turns out actually working all day is really tiring. And my days are filled with meetings and research and really writing and editing. WOW. Who would have thought? I feel like a real person. It’s so nice, guys. I will get used to this schedule, but I do really miss working out at lunch. It was such a good way to break up the day. Oh well. Also, I am slowly learning to use a mac. Thank God Tim has one and I have had some practice.

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As for the wedding nonsense, we are hoping to finalize today or tomorrow. We just need to figure it out with the church. Honestly, it’s a headache and I start to get anxiety just thinking about it. I just want to have the venue and date set and also for everyone to have good time.
Oh, I guess now would be a good time to mention I officially signed up for the marathon after a few drinks on Sunday. Talk about buyers remorse. I am keeping hush about it now… and will be until after. It always happens to me, the next run (or two or three) after I register for a race is (are) always terrible. At least that is what I am hoping after yesterday’s mess. I am scared, I am excited, I am worried. I have felt so slow lately, I know my paces aren’t what they should be. But I also am running a lot of miles a week (for me) and I am clinging to that half marathon PR in September. It was run on much of the same course and I ran that totally untapered. But…… still….. marathons, man. So much can go wrong. I am so scared. But I also had a lot go wrong in Boston and I am still alive. It could still be worse! Ah. F.

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